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Aaron is walking around America. This blog exists to help him connect with people while he is away and for anyone who is interested in following him on the path. Thanks for visiting!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Mostly Good, The Occasionally Bad and the Unquantifiable Other

I have news, lots of it, almost so much that I am not sure where to begin.

For the last few days I wanted to get down to some serious walking. Before I left the hotel in Gresham, I was going to post about how the love I have gained for this blog was really slowing me down. It had become a form of digital masturbation. I am already an expert at self gratification to the extreme, so believe me when I say that thinking about what I am going to write next and getting a charge out of the comments from Youtube, Flickr, Emails, this Blog and now on a scrolling updating map that charts my path, was starting to border on the unhealthy. Alright, I will admit it, I was obsessed.

I know in my heart that not for uniqueness of this trip, which is not happening, because of all the blogging and bedmaking I have been doing, there would not be much interest in what I have to say. I took the truth of these thoughts to heart and I started a blog post stating how I was about to get back to walking and did not intend to post on the blog for a while. Which when I thought about it seemed pretentious and overkill and so much me-Me-ME all the time that I got a little bit queasy... Even for me.

So instead I just decided to head out and not worry about this blog for a few days. That it would be here when I got back. That a few days on the road would provide an excellent opportunity to have something amazing to write about and celebrate once I got back.

Instead I come to you now humbled, worn down, weakened to the core.

Physically.

Emotionally.

Mentally.

Aaron's trip across the country is about to undergo a drastic change. (The first change will be to stop referring to myself in the third person like a pro wrastler) I still have many things I want to share about the last few days. The things I have seen and done. The wonderful people I met, the things I have learned and loved and been frustrated by. Walking up to and peeking over the edge of quitting. One leg dangling over the jagged rocks and splashy waves of total failure below. I even told a few people that I was all done, which I regret doing now, but I think I have figured out a way to continue that actually heals my heart and gives me an opportunity to help people the way I have wanted to since this journey began.

More details coming in the next few posts.

3 comments:

  1. Of course the journey is not only physical...
    The story goes that in the early centuries of Christianity men and women went out into the desert to escape corrupt civilization; some made incredible spiritual breakthroughs, but most did not. The reason? They escaped being physically surrounded by craziness, but they brought the craziness with them in their minds and hearts. That's not meant as any commentary on you, Aaron, just as a small offering of what I've learned in my own life. G-Man

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  2. HHmm trying to think how to say this...no matter what the adventure or project you decide to do, you have a gift for communicating/writing and I look forward to reading your blog.

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  3. G,

    I don't doubt for a minute that the trouble I am having is connected to the baggage (not just in my backpack either) that I have brought along with me. This feels like the kind of stuff I need to work out if I am going to continue in the best possible way.

    Aaron

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